Saturday, September 19, 2009

Gogyohka 9.19.09

you don't
sing the blues
because they're in you
you sing the blues
to get them out


I fixed it:

The white teeth of subway tiles
have black marker cavities
"I ♥ Carlos"
And crossword down the stairs
I M I S S C A R L O S

Or maybe a simpler way?

Black marker reads
on white subway tiles
"I ♥ Carlos"
And crossword down the stairs
I M I S S C A R L O S

4 comments:

Sienna said...

Sounds familiar but I love it. And definitely the first version.

Lorri Lambert-Smith said...

I like the second version best. It's interesting and visual enough without the teeth/cavity metaphor, I think. I'd be tempted to break out of the gogyohka form and stairstep the letters of "I miss Carlos" down the page. A bit cheesy but fun since you already have the heart. I do love the teeth/cavity metaphor too, and there are probably enough black marks on white tile to make another gogyohka.

fauxbois said...

My moms beat me to it: like mother like daughter, I loooove the white tile teeth, but I /also/ love the crossword. In fact, I love them both so much that I think each deserves its own gogyohka. Put me down for Option 2.

positivgal said...

I like the second better. The teeth and cavity metaphor take away from loving and missing carlos - but I do like the cavity metaphor for the decay of the subway and time...