Quick Confession (2/5/07)

Many times, while riding the subway, i want to nibble on someone's ear. Sometimes it's a girl, sometimes it's a mom with her infant, sometimes it's your uncle pedro, but i have an uncontrollable urge. This place seems so right, so ripe, for intimacy, to the point where people have to consciously wall themselves off, cellulate themselves, in close, public quarters.

Other times i want to chew somebody's head off on the train. Like this dickhole who jammed me into the middle of the car with nothing to do except tracksurf as we jolted and screeched and rocked around union square. I had to pin my palm against the ceiling just because dickless couldn't move over six goddamn inches.

You know, most of the time things work a whole lot better if everyone's willing to move six bloody inches. Remember that, America. Half a freakin' foot--i bet most y'all's peckers aren't even that long stiff.

Now i'm getting raunchy. Better quit.

But then again many go whole yards to make up for the dicklesses out there, so i guess it evens out. LIke the guy who got stuck between cars on the G train--he shouldn't have been jumping from car to car like that on that train anyway, but somehow he got one door open and it locked behind him, only to find the door in front of him was locked, too. So all homes can do is hop the thickass cable moorings that are about waist high while making sure he can clear the gap. All in the fifteen seconds or whatever that we're stopped at bergen street.

Well, two guys see him and shout and start beating on the train car. Hey!! Stop the train! Stop the fucking train!! Manny's stuck between the car. And the conductor stops with nary a protest or lecture or fine and the two guys hall this dumbass out to safety. Then they brush him off, he gets in the car, they laugh about it and part ways.

Goin down to florida
to get some sand in my shoes
Or maybe california
And get some sand in my shoes
Ride that orange blossom special
and lose these new york blues.

God DAMN is it cold these days. But it must be where you are, too. Stay warm tonight, America, unlike the Tomcat i saw walking back from the post office. He was close to dead and howling for it, like he knew what winter was for. Tell me about it i said and kept moving.

That's what winter's for.

One more weird thing that creeped me out today and the Tomcat triggered a memory of. I was walking home from the post office, as i said, and it's ass cold, as i said, and i'm thinking, man, it sure would hurt a lot to get hit by a car in this cold--you know how everything hurts more?--i was thinking about broken bones or even compound fractures-=i dunno why, maybe cause of the superbowl last night when i never watch football. I thought about the pain of that in these already marrow freezing weather.

Then, walking home from the dentist's a few hours later, olivia comes in all spooked. A man, an older man, got hit on our block right by our apartment. He had the light, but he got anyway. If olivia would have walked a second earlier it'd have been her instead of him. She banged on a nearby cop car and they called an ambulance and pulled the driver over. The man, an older man, didn't get up.

that's that winter's for.