Thursday, July 16, 2009

Some Edits

I'm not a real good reviser, but I'm working on it. Please tell me what you think.

Man on First taking Third on a Single to Right

Helmet down and pumping
he slides head first.
The wet dirt skittles
and smells like horses racing--
his eyes squint for the call.

His talk spins in tornadoes
picking up the Taj Mahal
scraps of metal
and junk from dumpsters
Anything but stop signs

I carry the scars
from reaching for stars
that turned into bars.
In front of me over my shoulder
the robin fidgets on a wire.

are often uncertain
but never wrong.
Even spiders sometimes hunt
dangled past their webs.

1 comment:

Hanna Maz said...

Personally I think that even poems before the editing process have their merits but I really like what you've done with "Man on First etc" I like the singularity of the experience, I think it was a good choice.